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Crab jokes ๐Ÿฆ€ in 2025

What does the crab president call his trusted advisors?
– His Crabinet.

Why did the crab get fired?
– Because he was not moving the company forward.

What would a crab do with a smartphone?
– Take lots of shellfies!

Why did the crab get bad grades?
– Because it was below C level!

What do crabs order when they go to a coffee shop?
– A cup of crab-uccino.

Whatโ€™s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a crab with breast implants?
– One is a Crusty Bus Station and the other is a busty crustacean

Knock Knock

– Whoโ€™s there?

– Water

– Water who?

– Water you waiting for?! Letโ€™s go crabbing!

Why do crabs never give to charity?
– Because theyโ€™re shellfish!

What did one hipster crab playing on its shellphone say to the other?
– โ€œHelp me think of an Instagram crabtion!โ€

I pulled a muscle today, I stayed clam!

What does a crab have in common with a Chinese guy who gets run over by a bus?
– They’re both crushed Asians.

Who brings Christmas presents to young crabs?
– Santa Claws!

The truth shell set you free!

What kind of protective headgear does a hermit crab wear?
– A shell-met.

What did the crab police officer say when it pulled over a speeding shrimp?
– โ€œYou have to abide by the claw.โ€

Marylanders: Do you know how to tell the difference between male and female Chesapeake blue crabs ?
– The female will tell you how to eat her.

Why did the crab blush?
– It saw the oceanโ€™s bottom.

I shrimply donโ€™t like shellfish!

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