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Country jokes 🐄🌾🚜 in 2025

Putin, Zelensky and Biden are on board a plane.
– Suddenly, the plane is losing altitude and they are about to crash. On board there are only two parachutes.

Immediately, Putin snatches a parachute and jumps out to save himself.

Biden takes the remaining parachute and gives it to Zelensky: “Save yourself, my friend. I am much older than you. Plus, in this difficult time your country needs you more than my country needs me. You deserve to live more than me.”

Zelensky feels convinced, so grudgingly accepts to take the parachute, gives one last hug to Biden and jumps out of the plane.

Then the plane regains altitude and Biden safely lands in Washington, because it turns out what was downing the plane in the first place was the weight of Zelensky’s massive balls.

Why was the colorblind guy unamused at the prospect of shifting to Colorado?
– Because it would just be -Ado for him.

What happened to the partially blind man when he went to Washington?
– He couldn’t Seattle!

66. My friend asked me, “Is Africa by Toto country music?”

Why did the President ban the sale of shredded cheese?
– Because he wants to make America grate again.

How was the airport security in Los Angeles?
– Quite LAX.

How do you attract a country girl?
– A tractor.

Mans best friend
– I was having troubles with my girlfriend.

We were always arguing, usually about my behaviour or my friends circle; mostly about nothing in my eyes.

One day she said why don’t we get a dog. Great idea! We got a puppy and we went for a long drive into the country side.

When we got there, I opened the trunk to let them both out. Can you guess which one was pleased to see me?

In the city, you ignore sirens and listen for gunshots. In the country, you ignore gunshots and listen for sirens.
– In Detroit, you ignore both.

If a sheep is in control of a country, it will be called
– A dictatorsheep

Where did the angels go to get god’s approval?
– Los Angeles.

How do you know someone is from Texas?
– They will let you know.

Why aren’t tubas used in Country music?
– Because they’re made of heavy metal.

How many northerners does it take to change a lightbulb?
– Hella.

Why is everybody in Canada a lot cooler than the USA?
– Because of their winter.

I went to another country famous for their Pole dancing.
– 2/10, definitely not worth the trip to Poland.

Russians are very flexible, and are world-class ballerinas, figure skaters, and gymnasts
– They use their flexibility in other ways, too! It’s the only country where there are regularly suicides with bullets to the *back* of the head.

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