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Country jokes 🐄🌾🚜 in 2025

A man is out in the country when his car breaks down.
– After a while a group of guys in a pickup stop to check on him. They help get his car started, but then they beat him up, take his clothes and wallet, chain him to a tree, and take off with his car.
He’s facing the tree, so he can’t see the road, but he hears a car drive up and starts yelling for help. He hears footsteps behind him, and someone asks, “what happened to you!?”
“These guys stole my clothes, my money, and my car, and left me here! Help!”
He hears the sound of a zipper and the guy says, “man, this just ain’t your day.”

Why is it that the Minnesota Vikings cannot eat their cereals for breakfast?
– It’s because they tend to choke a lot when they come too close to a bowl.

Which US state is the most down to earth?
– Floor-ida.

Why is Taylor Swift not a fan of the West?
– Because the last time she came in contact with a West, she was told she wasn’t worthy of her award.

Why did the New Yorkers speak slowly to Southerners?
– Because they wanted to give them the chance to catch up.

A guy was driving down a country lane and he ran over a rooster
– He was very upset.

He went to the farmhouse and knocked on the door and a woman opened it and he said: ‘I appear to have killed your rooster. I’d like to replace him.’

And she said: ‘Please yourself, the hens are round the back.

Ukrainian Peasant finds a Genie in a Bottle
– A Ukrainian peasant finds a genie in a bottle. The genie offers him three wishes. He’s a stupid peasant but he knows what he likes.

The peasant says, “I want the Chinese to invade Ukraine from the east and then go back to China.”

So it happens and the Chinese army invaded Ukraine from the east and easily defeats the country.

For his next wish, before the genie can even finish his sentence, the peasant again asks for the Chinese to invade Ukraine from the east and then go home.

So it happens. And the Chinese defeat Ukraine from the east.

For his third wish, the peasant again asks for the Chinese to invade Ukraine from the east and go home.

“I gave you three wishes,” the genie cries. “Why did you ask for the Chinese to invade Ukraine from the east three times?”

Because to invade Ukraine 3 times they had to go through Russia 6 times

If Biden is elected, I’m leaving the country
– If Trump is reelected, I’m leaving the country.
This is not a political post. I just want to travel.

Why did the Southerners buy a bullring in southern France?
– Because there was nothing Toulouse.

What country has the most germs?
– Germany

What do you call pizza seasoning from Portland?
– Oregon-o.

Why did the Arizonian comedian who was stranded in the rainforest lose his sense of humor?
– Because it wasn’t dry enough.

65. What did Keith Urban name his below par Country music band? Sub-urban.

What do you call a bee that lives in America?
– A USB.

What fruit do Californians hate?
– STRAWberry.

What do you call a country that is entirely made out of coal?
– A carbonation!

What is the difference between the USA and the UK?
– One word.

An american comes back to the old country and is trying to explain his childhood friend what america is all about. “I jump in my truck in the morning and drive all day, and by night I still have not reached the other side of my farm”
– “I know, I got a car just like that”

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