Most Popular Categories

All Categories

Country jokes 🐄🌾🚜 in 2025

What happened to the partially blind man when he went to Washington?
– He couldn’t Seattle!

66. My friend asked me, “Is Africa by Toto country music?”

Why did the President ban the sale of shredded cheese?
– Because he wants to make America grate again.

How was the airport security in Los Angeles?
– Quite LAX.

How do you attract a country girl?
– A tractor.

Mans best friend
– I was having troubles with my girlfriend.

We were always arguing, usually about my behaviour or my friends circle; mostly about nothing in my eyes.

One day she said why don’t we get a dog. Great idea! We got a puppy and we went for a long drive into the country side.

When we got there, I opened the trunk to let them both out. Can you guess which one was pleased to see me?

In the city, you ignore sirens and listen for gunshots. In the country, you ignore gunshots and listen for sirens.
– In Detroit, you ignore both.

If a sheep is in control of a country, it will be called
– A dictatorsheep

Where did the angels go to get god’s approval?
– Los Angeles.

How do you know someone is from Texas?
– They will let you know.

Why aren’t tubas used in Country music?
– Because they’re made of heavy metal.

How many northerners does it take to change a lightbulb?
– Hella.

Why is everybody in Canada a lot cooler than the USA?
– Because of their winter.

I went to another country famous for their Pole dancing.
– 2/10, definitely not worth the trip to Poland.

Russians are very flexible, and are world-class ballerinas, figure skaters, and gymnasts
– They use their flexibility in other ways, too! It’s the only country where there are regularly suicides with bullets to the *back* of the head.

Putin, Biden and Zelensky are all in a hot air balloon
– Putin, Biden and Zelensky are all in a hot air balloon and it’s starting to lose altitude. They need to lose some weight to stop from crashing.

Putin throws out a bottle of vodka and says “don’t worry I’ve got too much of that in my country anyway”

Biden throws out an AR-15 and says “don’t worry I’ve got too much of that in my country anyway”

Zelensky throws out Putin and says “don’t worry I’ve got too much of that in my country anyway” and looks at Biden smugly as they crash anyways due to the massive weight of Zelensky’s balls.

A joke from my country (Brazil)
– In an international police convention, American FBI, English Scotland Yard and Brazilian BOPE are about to take part in a competition.

A rabbit will be set loose in the woods and the team that retrieves it in the shortest time wins.

First goes the Scotland Yard. They use hounds and helicopters and come back with the rabbit in 2 hours.

Secondly goes the FBI. They use high-tech gear and drones with thermal image cameras and return with the rabbit in 1 hour.

Last to go in is the brazilian BOPE. They return after 20 minutes with a bloodied pig, a written confession and the animal is screaming: I’m a rabbit! I swear I’m a rabbit.

Follow us on Facebook