Country jokes 🐄🌾🚜 in 2025

Where is the annual convention for dentists held?
– Floss Vegas.

What did the Country singer who liked Indian food name herself?
– Curry Underwood.

Why did the man get arrested for shooting a sick bald eagle?
– Because it’s ill-eagle.

The U.S.A. is a country where women had the right to bear arms
– before they had the right to bare legs.

What do you get when you play a country music record backwards?
– You get you wife back, your truck back, your dog back…

Where do you get the most dad jokes in the US?
– Corny Island.

What do you call a sleeping bull at the rodeo?
– A bulldozer.

I’m American, and I’m sick of people saying America is “the stupidest country in the world.”
– Personally, I think Alabama is the stupidest country in the world.

What did the short person order with his small meal?
– A Minnesota.

Why was the comedian’s stand-up performance boring to the people of Arizona?
– Because they had no sense of Yuma.

64. What would happen if Keith Urban became obsessed with Country music? He would change his name to Keith Rural!

What happened to the American who went to the hospital with a broken leg?
– He went broke.

Why was there no trace of electricity in the Pennsylvania countryside?
– Something was Amish.

A general once asked Napoleon Bonaparte if he was capable of leading a country.
– “Of Corsican,” he replied.

A man goes to a bar and orders three pints…
– The bartender serves them and the man sits down and proceeds to drink one after the other until all three are gone. He returns the bar and orders three more, drinks them, and then returns to the bar once more…

The bartender says, “you know they’ll stay colder and fresher if you order them one at a time.”

“Ah, sorry, let me explain,” says the man. “My two brothers and I used to always get a pint together but they’ve both moved out of the country, so I’m honoring them by getting three at a time.”

This continues and the man becomes a regular of the bar, never breaking his routine of ordering three pints at a time…

…until one day he comes in and only orders two. The bartender notices the change but doesn’t say anything. The man drinks the two pints and then returns to the bar and orders two more.

The bartender says “I’m so sorry for your loss, sir.”

Confused, the man says “I’m sorry? What loss?”

The bartender says “oh, well I just assumed that one of your brothers died.”

Laughing, the man says “oh, no, my brothers are both alive and well, I just quit drinking!”

John asks his wife, Mary, what she wants to…
– celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary.

“Would you like a new Mink Coat?” he asks.

“Not really,” says Mary.

“Well how about a new Mercedes sports car?” says John.

“No,” she responds.

“What about a new vacation home in the country?” he suggests.

She again rejects his offer with a, “No thanks.”

Frustrated he finally asks, “Well what would you like for your anniversary?”

“John, I’d like a divorce,” answers Mary.

John thinks for a moment and replies “Sorry dear, I wasn’t planning to spend that much.”

A sports car is driving in Amish country.
– He skids on the road and crashes into a ditch. He gets out unharmed and looks at his car in dismay. A few minutes later an Amish man comes riding by in a horse and buggy. The Amish man stops and asks, “Would you like some help, English?”. The man quickly says he would, and just as quickly the Amish man dismounts and ties his horse to the car. “Alright Nelly, pull!”. The horse remains motionless. “Now you Chester, Pull!”. The horse again, does nothing. “Come Blacky, pull!”. Finally the horse takes some steps and effortlessly pulls the car out of the ditch and back onto the road. “Woah, Blacky, that’s good!”, the Amish man calls and the horse stops. The motorist shakes the Amish man’s hand and says, “I really appreciate the help, but why did you call that horse by three different names?” “Oh, the Amish man says, that horse is blind. He’s easily strong enough to do it, you see, but if he thought he was doing it alone he wouldn’t even try.”

Which part of America has four eyes but still can’t read?
– Mississippi.