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Cougar jokes 🐆👵 in 2025

Why do cougars always have a full makeup kit with them? So they can touch up their spots.

Why did the cougar break up with her young boyfriend? She realized he was still in high school.

What’s a cougar’s favorite pickup line? Hey, do you have any homework I can help you with?

Why did the cougar join the gym? To stay fit for her prey.

What did the cougar say to the young man who was trying to hit on her? You’re cute, but I’m not kitten around.

What did the cougar say to the bartender? Can I get a cub on the rocks?

What did the cougar say when she found out her boyfriend was a vegetarian? Looks like I’ll have to find some new meat.

What do you call a cougar with a new boyfriend? A cougar on the prowl.

Why did the cougar break up with her young boyfriend? She realized he was still in college.

What’s a cougar’s favorite holiday? Halloween, because she can dress up as a kitten.

What do you call a cougar who’s always wearing yoga pants? A flex-appeal lady.

Why did the cougar cross the road? To get to the young side.

What’s a cougar’s favorite book? The Catcher in the Rye.

What do you call a cougar who’s always flirting with younger men? A paw-some lady.

Why did the cougar start dating a doctor? Because she wanted to be young and healthy forever.

How does a cougar like her coffee? With a young spoon.

Why did the cougar join a dating site? To find a younger man who knows how to swipe right.

Why did the cougar get a tattoo of a young man’s name on her arm? So she can remember his name.

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