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Coronavirus Jokes ๐Ÿ˜ท๐Ÿ’‰ in 2024

It’s only quarantine if it comes from the quarantine region of France;
-otherwise, it’s just sparkling isolation

This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her.
-I came into my house, told my dogโ€“we laughed a lot.

What’s worse than living in quarantine?
-Living in Karentain.

The grocery stores in France look like tornadoes hit them.
-All thatโ€™s left is de brie.

Teacher:”What have you learnt in quarantine”
-Me: if a ball is too big for your mouth itโ€™s not yours

Two grandmothers were bragging about their precious darlings.
-One of them says to the other, โ€œMine are so good at social distancing, they wonโ€™t even call me.โ€

Has anyone else’s gardening skills improved during this quarantine like mine have?
-I planted myself on my couch at the beginning of March and I’ve grown significantly since.

To bรธsser elsker i parken om natten. Det er mรธrkt som i graven, og de siger til hinanden:

โ€“ โ€œJeg elsker dig.โ€

โ€“ โ€œJeg elsker ogsรฅ dig.โ€

โ€“ โ€œDu er fantastisk.โ€

โ€“ โ€œDet er du ogsรฅ.โ€

โ€“ โ€œLad os altid mรธdes her igen.โ€

โ€“ โ€œJa, hver dag โ€“ jeg bor i Kรธbenhavn.โ€

โ€“ โ€œJeg ogsรฅ. I Voldgadeโ€ฆโ€

โ€“ โ€œUtroligt, det gรธr jeg ogsรฅ ?!? I nummer 150โ€

โ€“ โ€œDet er ikke muligt โ€“ det gรธr jeg ogsรฅโ€ฆ!?!

โ€“ โ€œPalle..?โ€

โ€“ โ€œFar..?โ€

Why didnโ€™t the sick guy get the joke?
-It flu over his head.

You know what theyโ€™re saying about 2020.
– It went viral faster than anyone thought it would.

After years of wanting to thoroughly clean my houseโ€ฆ
-but lacking the time, this week I discovered that wasnโ€™t the reason.

As a responsible employer, All my staff are in a 2 week quarantine.
-Productivity is through the roof since nobody can leave the office.

Whatโ€™s the best way to avoid touching your face?
-A glass of wine in each hand.

What types of jokes are allowed during quarantine?
-Inside jokes!

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