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Coronavirus Jokes ๐Ÿ˜ท๐Ÿ’‰ in 2024

What does eating raw garlic have to do with preventing COVID-19?
-It helps keep everyone at a safe distance.

Nail salons, hair salons, waxing center and tanning places are closed.
-Itโ€™s about to get ugly out there.

The one thing quarantine has taught me…
-is you donโ€™t need fun to have alcohol.

How did the health experts lie? They said a mask and gloves was enough to go to the grocery store.
-When I got there, everyone else had clothes on.

Y’all know what the best part of this quarantine is?
-Several months of no school shootings.

30 days hath September, April, June, and November,
-all the rest have 31, except for March which was infinite.

If Trump Recovers, He Will Write A Book About His Quarantine Experience And How He Got Through It.
-The Art Of The Heal

Whatโ€™s the difference between COVID-19 and Romeo and Juliet?
-Oneโ€™s the coronavirus and the other is a Verona crisis.

Every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit.
-Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.

A crow was caught recently breaking quarantine laws.
-They charged him with attempted murder.

What do you call panic-buying of sausage and cheese in Germany?
-The wurst-kase scenario.

The grocery stores in France look like tornadoes hit them.
-All thatโ€™s left is de brie.

I just wanted to share what works for me.
-This is just to give me structure and a sense of stability

Since quarantine I’ve not had a haircut. Hell, I’ve not even stepped on the scales. So today I decided to weigh myself for the first time in months.
-Who knew hair weighed so much?!

So many coronavirus jokes out there,
-itโ€™s a pundemic.

Iโ€™m not talking to myself,
-Iโ€™m having a parent-teacher conference.

This quarantine has been going on so long, my relationship with the gym has been slipping.
-I’ve had to start calling it the James again.

Once they come out with a corona virus vaccine I donโ€™t want to see any of you antivaxxers getting one.
-Donโ€™t be a hypocrite!

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