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Corny jokes in 2024

What do sprinters eat before they race?
-Nothing. They fast.

To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket…
-you can hide but you can’t run.

Why are elephants wrinkly?
-You can’t iron them.

What did the bartender say to the turkey sandwich when it tried to order a beer?
– “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.”

My cross-eyed wife and I just got a divorce.
-I found out she was seeing someone on the side.

What do you call a duck that gets all A’s?
-A wise quacker.

How do you make Lady Gaga mad?
-Poke her face.

Why does a chicken coop only have two doors?
– If it had four doors it would be called a chicken sedan.

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
– It’s okay. He woke up.

Why can’t you trust the king of the jungle?
-He’s always lion.

What was the frog’s job at the hotel?
-Bellhop.

My computer’s got the Miley virus.
-It’s stopped twerking.

Why did the man get fired from the orange juice factory?
-Lack of concentration.

What has four wheels and flies?
-A garbage truck!

What do you call a blind dinosaur?
-A do-you-think-he-saw-us.

I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory.
-All I did was take a day off.

Did you hear that I’m reading a book about anti-gravity?
-It’s impossible to put down.

What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair?
-Chocolate Chip Wookiee.

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