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Cooking jokes 🍳👩‍🍳 in 2025

Somebody asked me what a spoonerism was….
– I haven’t got a cooking flue.

The police inquired about the accident in the kitchen, and the pastry chef said it happened right in front of his berry eyes!

I wanted to improve my cooking skills, so I finally decided to cook my way through Julia Child’s cookbook
– I’m on page 122, but no matter how much butter I use, it still just tastes like paper.

A father and his son went outside for a walk.
– The son steps on a butterfly. The father jokes : Your going to have to eat some butter now!
When they return back to their home, they find the kid’s mother cooking in the kitchen. She accidentally steps on a cockroach. The son says to the father : I’ll leave you guys to it then.

What do you do to prevent your gyro meat from drying?
– You need to give it a good lamb basting!

The citrus fruits wanted to go on a road trip. One of them was the main oranger of everything as the trip was a success.

Why does Egypt not celebrate Father’s Day?
Because they’re so full of mummies
(As told by “Jackie chan” while cooking my lunch on the hibachi grill)

The only reason why the hipster chef burnt his mouth is that he ate his food before it became cool!

I missed a couple of my cooking classes. Now I have some ketchup to do!

What did the celery couple do on their wedding anniversary?
– They went to a diner to celery-brate!

If two lesbians get married, who does the cooking?
– Neither, they both eat out.

A handjob is like cooking
– It’s good but even better when your Grandma does it

American intervention is kind of like my cooking…
– It always involves a lot of oil… I steam in without really knowing what I’m doing… and lots of people die.

The favorite spice ingredient of any historian is anchovy!

Napoleon arrived at a banquet and exclaimed, “Bon, a party”.

“Honey,” said a husband, “I Invited a friend home for dinner.”
“What? Are you crazy?” The wife replied.
“The house is a mess, I haven’t been shopping, and I don’t feel like cooking a fancy meal.”
” I know all that,” he said.
“Then why did you invite a friend for dinner?” she asked.
he replied, “because the poor fools thinking about getting married.”

The cannibal won the cook-off competition, and everybody was surprised at it. Hardly anyone appreciated that he gave all his blood, sweat, and tears to win it!

The sesame seed stayed at the casino floor all night because he was on a roll!

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