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Cooking jokes 🍳👩‍🍳 in 2025

I got banned from the secret cooking society…
– For spilling the beans.

Did you know that lesbians suck at cooking?
– It’s cuz they are always eating out

My wife’s inappropriate Christmas dinner joke
– Last night My wife and I were having Christmas dinner with her parents, grandparents, aunts/uncles, and a German neighbor who is a widow. We were talking about messing up while cooking meals and I mentioned the first time I cooked a turkey I cooked it upside down. The neighbor was incredulous that I could make such a mistake and asked how I could possibly do this when the breast would be round and make it difficult to get the turkey to not roll.

I wanted to cook mushrooms at a cooking competition, but it was a one-off chance. There was not mushroom for error!

A group of men are out sailing when they decide to see what the chef is cooking for dinner.
They walk in and, being that he doesn’t have a rolling pin, see him flattening biscuits with his armpit.
That’s disgusting! One guy says to the other.
Yeah, well you should see how he makes donuts!

The knives used by chefs are Bluetooth compatible. That is why they are called paring knives!

What did father Carrot tell his son after the latter performed poorly in athletics?
– Keep calm and carrot on!

A guy in our area was arrested last week for stealing cooking utensils. He still thinks it was a whisk worth taking!

When Ernie Mac cooks, he cooks a Mac and Cheese.

The chef who is good at making pasta, unfortunately, got locked out of his house perhaps, because he came home with gnocchi!

Everyone should always cook egg dishes to egg-spand their horizon!

Somebody asked me what a spoonerism was….
– I haven’t got a cooking flue.

The police inquired about the accident in the kitchen, and the pastry chef said it happened right in front of his berry eyes!

I wanted to improve my cooking skills, so I finally decided to cook my way through Julia Child’s cookbook
– I’m on page 122, but no matter how much butter I use, it still just tastes like paper.

A father and his son went outside for a walk.
– The son steps on a butterfly. The father jokes : Your going to have to eat some butter now!
When they return back to their home, they find the kid’s mother cooking in the kitchen. She accidentally steps on a cockroach. The son says to the father : I’ll leave you guys to it then.

What do you do to prevent your gyro meat from drying?
– You need to give it a good lamb basting!

The citrus fruits wanted to go on a road trip. One of them was the main oranger of everything as the trip was a success.

Why does Egypt not celebrate Father’s Day?
Because they’re so full of mummies
(As told by “Jackie chan” while cooking my lunch on the hibachi grill)

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