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Cookie Jokes 🍪 in 2024

Me: Three scoops of Cookie Dough in a tub, please.
– Vendor: You wanna spoon?

– Me: … OK, what time do you get off?

Why was the cookie so angry with the baker?
– He had a chip on his shoulder.

Why was the cookie crying?

– Because his mom was a wafer so long.

My wife just got done making some cookie dough.
– Wife: “Do you want to lick clean one of the beaters?”
– Me: “Does it have raw egg in it?”
– Wife: “It does…”
– Me: “Well, I could get sick… But that’s a whisk I’m willing to take.”

How does the queen like her cookies?
– Decorated with royal icing.

What is Homer Simpson’s favorite ice cream?

– Cookie d’oh.

Just got to get this off my chest…. I’m getting sick and tired of people complaining about the price of things, $2.70 for coffee, $1.50 a cookie, $4.00 an hour for parking.
– If I hear any more moaning.. I’m stopping inviting people to my house.

Why are cookies called cookies, and bacon is called bacon, but you have to bake cookies and cook bacon?
– It’s like that Parkway / Driveway mess up, all over again!

What do you get when you cross a cookie and a hammer?
– Cookie crumbs.

My fortune cookie read, “You will touch the hearts of many.” Jokes on them. I’m a heart surgeon.

Why should you never make too many cookies at once?

– It’s too big of a whisk.

I ate too much cookie dough and got sick
– It was an overdoughse.

I hope they serve cookies at the Royal Wedding this weekend
– Just to show how a touch of brown sugar makes a ginger snap.

The difference between a cookie and a cracker.
– Cookies don’t care if you pull down a civil war statue.

Why did the boy go to the doctor after eating a cookie?
– He was feeling crumby!

In this cookie we call life, you’re the chocolate chips.

What’s Thanos’ favorite kind of cookie?
– Ginger snaps

I brought some cookie dough into work today…
…so I could use the oven there to bake some cookies for all the staff, but everyone gave me dirty looks when I put them in and turned the oven on.

– My boss said I was “insensitive” and “fired from the crematorium”.

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