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Cookie Jokes 🍪 in 2025

My fortune cookie read “You will touch the hearts of many.”
– Jokes on them. I’m a heart surgeon.

What did the baker say when he forgot the cookie sheets?
– Ooh, snickerdoodles.

What type of cookies do redheads like best?
– Ginger snaps.

There is a new machine at the gym. It’s truly awesome!

– I almost threw up after using it for an hour, it really has it all.

– Cookies, chocolate bars, chips, sodas.

These cookies are amazing!
– Thanks, it’s a secret family recipe.
– You have a secret family?
– Please don’t tell my wife…

What kind of cookie does a crazy professor who only uses apple products prefer?
– Macademia Nut

I found an easy cookie recipe that said to put all the ingredients in one bowl and beat it.
– I’m not sure what good it did though, when I came back nothing had changed.

Where do witches bake their cookies?
– In a coven.

Keep calm and eat cookies.

What does a programmer say after reading the fortune they get from a fortune cookie?
– Embed

I love the smell of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies
– They smell just like burned toast

What kind of snacks do little monkeys have with their milk?
– Chocolate chimp cookies!

Today I got an empty fortune cookie.

– It was very unfortunate.

What’s a hyena’s favorite cookie?
– Snickerdoodle

Why do basketball players love cookies?
– Because they can dunk them!

Why did the chocolate chip cookie drop all his chips?
– Because that’s the way the cookie fumbles!

Have you tried the new Wookiee cookie?
– It’s a bit chewy.

My computer became self aware and asked for a snack.

– I replied, “Sorry I’m fresh out of computer chips.”

– Now it’s asking me for a byte of cookies.

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