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Construction jokes 🚧🛠️👷 in 2025

When the construction of the chief’s new house was completed, he hosted a feast to thank these who aided him during the construction.
During the feast, everyone congratulates him and said: ” You’re extremely competent to build houses like this one here.”

His wife heard the compliment and spoke for her husband: ” Well, the credit isn’t all my husband’s, the credit goes to these who contributed! ”

After the feast, everyone returned home. A villager told his wife the whole conversation and praised the chief’s wife for being appropriate and polite.

A year later, the villager’s wife gave birth to a healthy boy. When the villagers came to visit the couple. Everyone said to the husband: “You’re really blessed to have such an adorable baby! ”

The newborn’s mother heard it and replied: ” Well, the credit isn’t all my husband’s, the credit goes to these who contributed! “

What do you call someone driving the road roller?
– He is an absolute flatterer!

What happens when you drive beneath an under-construction overpass?
– You are supposedly under construction!

I have this great joke about construction
– I’m still working on it

Got to hammer out a few kinks

Make sure to nail the delivery

I just don’t want to screw it up

Did you hear about the carpenter who only measured floors losing his construction job?
– I heard he got fired because he never measured up

Why are windows known to not laugh at any jokes?
– Because they don’t really like cracking up!

Why was the accused worker discharged by the court?
– Because they couldn’t find any concrete evidence against him!

What would you say if a construction company hires a lot of dwarves as their employees?
– You would surely say that they are very short-staffed!

A construction worker walks into a bar.
– After getting thoroughly wasted, he has to be carted away in an ambulance.

A month later, his immediate supervisor walks into the same bar. After he also gets thoroughly wasted, he also has to be carted away in an ambulance.

A month later, the construction foreman walks into the very same bar.

The land owner fired that construction company straight away, stating that depth perception was a requirement for building his house.

If you want to hear a joke about construction…
…come back later. I’m still working on it.

Why did the plumber leave fixing drains?
– Because the work was too draining for him!

What did the idle carpenter say to his manager?
– “I am very board, it wood be best to give me some work.”

What is a construction worker’s favorite dance move?
– Raise the roof.

Two construction workers were eating lunch on a bench on the side of the road…
As they were eating lunch, they notice a very attractive woman walking on the other side of the road. The two workers start to cat call her until she stops and looks at them.
Once she looks at them, they make the notion for her flash them by pulling up on their shirts. The woman looks around and hesitantly pulls up her shirt and waves at them.
The two workers are getting all excited and see if they can take it further. They start yelling across the street for her to completely strip for them. Once again, she looks around and hesitantly gets completely naked on the side of the road and blows them a kiss!

At this point, the two workers are jumping up and down and giving each other high fives. All of a sudden, the female looks at them and yells, “Your Turn!”

The two construction workers are getting nervous and one turns to the other and says, “Show her ur nuts, show her ur nuts!!”

So the worker nods his head and starts flailing his arms and yelling “Lahanalahailaoalhiao”

How did Jesus do in the construction test today?
– He nailed it!

What did the chief constructor say to his juniors on their first day at work?
– “Marble is a fine stone but never ever take it for granite!”

Why couldn’t I say anything when a worker asked me to comment on his tools?
– It was due to the fact that I didn’t have any drill bits!

Me: I had to quit my construction job because I wasn’t strong enough for the work.
Friend: Did you give them your too weak notice?

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