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Construction jokes 🚧🛠️👷 in 2025

Recently, i decided to quit my job at the construction place because i couldn’t deal with the heavy lifting.
– I gave them my too weak notice yesterday.

There was a bus with 4 seats.
(Sorry for the poor construction of the joke. English is not my first language)

The conductor came in and began checking the tickets of the passengers.

He approached the lady sitting in the first seat. She didn’t have a ticket. The conductor fined her 20$ even though the ticket cost 40$ because she was wearing a small skirt and he could see most of her leg.

He then came up to the lady in the 2nd seat. She too didn’t have a ticket. He fined her only 10$ as she was wearing an even smaller skirt and he could see almost her entire leg.

He went up to the 3rd seat. Same story, the lady sitting here didn’t have a ticket but this time he fined get just 5$ because she was in a bikini and he could see literally everything.

When he got to the lady in the last seat, he didn’t fine her anything at all.

That’s because she was carrying a ticket, you perverts.

Edit : Thank you so much for the awesome advice guys. I have tried to clean up the text as much as I could.

Why did the painter come to work wearing two jackets on a sunny day?
– Because the head constructor advised him to always put two coats!

What is the main difference between a construction site and a bar of magnet?
– A construction site has many poles, while a magnet has only two!

I took a quiz about construction work. I screwed it up. I took it again and I nailed it.

My dad encouraged me to take a job on a highway construction crew…
…but I decided not to go down that road.

Construction worker discharged after accusation of murder
– There was no concrete evidence.

Why did the construction worker build a library when asked to build the world’s largest storied building?
– Because he thought a library would have many stories!

What did the old log of wood say to the new wood which was currently being sawed?
– He said, “You are just a chip off the old block”.

The shovel remains one of the most groundbreaking construction tools ever.

What’s the most exciting job on a construction site?
– Riveting

What are the only two seasons in the Midwest?
– Winter and Construction

How does a worker plan his gym routine?
– He hammers the logs, which help him pound a couple of shreds!

What words would you hear if you remove a worker’s cap and wear it on your head?
– You would probably hear the Oi-SHA!

Not all construction work is equally enjoyable.
– For instance, drilling a large hole is boring, but fastening two pieces of metal together is riveting

A construction worker walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt.
The bartender asks: “What can I get you?”
The construction worker says “One beer for me, and one for the road.”

Why are drills always upset for not having any friends at all?
– Because drills are very boring!

What did the worker say when the client said his work was dangerously poisonous?
– “I did asbestos I could”.

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