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Construction jokes 🚧🛠️👷 in 2025

What do you hear if you take a construction worker’s hat off and hold it to your ear?
– The OSHA.

What do two unknown constructors build when they share food together?
– A friendship!

What does one feel when they see a lot of lame construction jokes?
– It makes them very board!

Why do construction workers make bad bartenders?
– When you order a stiff drink, they bring you a glass full of cement.

A construction worker.
A construction worker on his first day was tasked with picking up supplies from the lumberyard.

He walked into the office and said, “We need some 4x2s.”

The clerk said, “You mean 2x4s, right?”

The worker said, “Let me go check,”

He went back to the truck, soon returned and said, “Yes, 2x4s.”

“Alright, how long do you need them?” asked the clerk.

The man paused for a while and said, “Let me go check.”

He returned to the office and said, “A long time. We’re building a house.”

When the construction of the chief’s new house was completed, he hosted a feast to thank these who aided him during the construction.
During the feast, everyone congratulates him and said: ” You’re extremely competent to build houses like this one here.”

His wife heard the compliment and spoke for her husband: ” Well, the credit isn’t all my husband’s, the credit goes to these who contributed! ”

After the feast, everyone returned home. A villager told his wife the whole conversation and praised the chief’s wife for being appropriate and polite.

A year later, the villager’s wife gave birth to a healthy boy. When the villagers came to visit the couple. Everyone said to the husband: “You’re really blessed to have such an adorable baby! ”

The newborn’s mother heard it and replied: ” Well, the credit isn’t all my husband’s, the credit goes to these who contributed! “

What do you call someone driving the road roller?
– He is an absolute flatterer!

What happens when you drive beneath an under-construction overpass?
– You are supposedly under construction!

I have this great joke about construction
– I’m still working on it

Got to hammer out a few kinks

Make sure to nail the delivery

I just don’t want to screw it up

Did you hear about the carpenter who only measured floors losing his construction job?
– I heard he got fired because he never measured up

Why are windows known to not laugh at any jokes?
– Because they don’t really like cracking up!

Why was the accused worker discharged by the court?
– Because they couldn’t find any concrete evidence against him!

What would you say if a construction company hires a lot of dwarves as their employees?
– You would surely say that they are very short-staffed!

A construction worker walks into a bar.
– After getting thoroughly wasted, he has to be carted away in an ambulance.

A month later, his immediate supervisor walks into the same bar. After he also gets thoroughly wasted, he also has to be carted away in an ambulance.

A month later, the construction foreman walks into the very same bar.

The land owner fired that construction company straight away, stating that depth perception was a requirement for building his house.

If you want to hear a joke about construction…
…come back later. I’m still working on it.

Why did the plumber leave fixing drains?
– Because the work was too draining for him!

What did the idle carpenter say to his manager?
– “I am very board, it wood be best to give me some work.”

What is a construction worker’s favorite dance move?
– Raise the roof.

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