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Construction jokes 🚧🛠️👷 in 2025

What did the assistant do when the head constructor asked him to join two pieces of wooden logs together?
– He simply nailed it!

What did the construction worker do to remove all the troubles in his work?
– He simply hammered the kicks away!

I respectfully applaud the workers who dedicate themselves to the construction of Big Ben. They really work around the clock.

A construction worker fell off a tall scaffold.
– His colleagues dashed over to the edge and looked down in horror as he plummeted towards his death, crashing and bouncing off the metal structure.

A worker gasped in shock, “He will be bloody missed.”

His manager replied, “No he’s not. He’s a splatter on the pavement.”

While constructing a house, which building has the least weight?
– It most definitely is a lighthouse!

What do you call someone who transports construction site materials from one place to another?
– You call him a screw-driver!

What kind of criticism do architectural critics give?
– They give constructive criticism.

This Guy lives in a bad neighborhood and every night, when he walks home, he grabs a couple of cobblestones in each hand, for protection from thieves and muggers….

After some time, there is a pile of cobblestones outside his home…

His Contractor neighbor notices and asks, “What’s up with all these rocks?

Guy responds, “Oh, they’re the cobblestones I use to protect myself when coming home …blah da da blah…

Neighbor, thinks for a few, “I think we have enough rocks for a full fence here. Next time, when you come home, fill up some socks with some sand”

I just learned about the nonstop construction on Big Ben right now
– They really are working around the clock

Why does a hammer remain upset all the time?
– Because he gets hammered every day!

What is the advice that carpenters are given from their first day?
– They are taught ‘Nails can fail, but the hammer shouldn’t ever stammer’.

I didn’t want to believe my cousin was a construction site thief, but one afternoon, when I decided to visit his house, all the signs were there.

Why couldn’t the diabetic work construction?
He had an allergic reaction when he met the formin

Why did Santa get fired from his construction job?
– He kept coming down the chimney

Why was the busybody constructor very poor in his work?
– Because he was always meddling in someone else’s business!

What happens when you press the button for the automatic hammer?
– It sings out, ‘You can’t touch this’!

What is a construction worker’s favorite view?
– The OSHA

When god created the world, the prototype human was almost finished.
– Then he said to the responsible construction angel: “Put little toes on them” “Why that?” “For the furniture, you’ll see that it’s going to be fun.”

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