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Coffee jokes ☕ in 2025

Who has the thickest coffee?
-App developers. They like their Java GUI..

What happens when a duck flies upside down?
-It quacks up.

I got a new job last week as the new top dog at Old MacDonald’s farm.
-I’m the new C-I-E-I-O.

Barista: How do you take your coffee?
-Me: Very, very seriously

Why was the teacher annoyed with the duck?
-Because he wouldn’t quit quackin’ jokes.

I like my coffee like Hamilton liked the source of his income.
-Black, and made by my wife.

Have you heard about Ford’s new electric coffee car?
-It’s the Mach-E Auto.

Honey, this coffee tastes like dirt!
– That’s not surprising, dear, it was just ground this morning.

How do you make Pig Jerky?
-Give them some coffee.

I finally leveled up my coffee game.
-All that grinding was worth it.

What do you call it when you walk into a cafe you’re sure you’ve been to before?
-Déjà brew

Downloaded that apP where you post your location when you’re drinking a good cup of coffee, I think it’s called Grinde
-The real plus is that I haven’t paid for a single cup yet! The fellas around here are just so friendly.

Why do white women prefer black coffee?
– Because they can take black coffee home to their parents!

What do you call sad coffee?
– Despresso.

Why did the coffee file a police report?
-Because it was mugged.

What did the tie say to the hat?
-You go on ahead. I’ll hang around.

Did you hear about the guy breaking into peoples houses and drinking all their coffee?
-I don’t know how he sleeps at night!!

Where do birds go for coffee?
-To the NESTcafe

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