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Coffee jokes ☕ in 2025

Downloaded that apP where you post your location when you’re drinking a good cup of coffee, I think it’s called Grinde
-The real plus is that I haven’t paid for a single cup yet! The fellas around here are just so friendly.

Why do white women prefer black coffee?
– Because they can take black coffee home to their parents!

What do you call sad coffee?
– Despresso.

Why did the coffee file a police report?
-Because it was mugged.

What did the tie say to the hat?
-You go on ahead. I’ll hang around.

Did you hear about the guy breaking into peoples houses and drinking all their coffee?
-I don’t know how he sleeps at night!!

Where do birds go for coffee?
-To the NESTcafe

What do chocolate, men, and coffee have in common?
-They’re only good if they’re rich!

I was sitting drinking coffee in my slippers this morning, when I thought to myself
-… I really need to wash some mugs.

What did the Brazilian coffee say to the Indonesian coffee?
-What’s Sumatra with you?

I like my education just like my hot coffee.
-No ICE.

Starbucks or Victoria Secrets?
-…..Who charges more per cup?

What’s the best Beatles song?
-Latte Be!

How does a coffee lover hit on a woman?
– I’ve been thinking about you a latte.

Black, and made by my wife.
-HE-BRUISED IT!!

What happened when a faucet, a tomato, and some lettuce ran a race together?
-The lettuce was ahead, the faucet was running, and the tomato was trying to ketchup.

Soup of the day:
– Coffee.

I was lonely until I glued a coffee cup on top of my car.
-Now everyone waves at me

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