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Coding jokes 👨‍💻 in 2025

Some people, when confronted with a problem, think, ‘I know, I’ll use threads’ – and then two they hav erpoblesms.

As a stats major I’m ashamed to say I’ve never done any programming
– But I still excel in my field!

Why did Johnny fail his programming class?
– His mom kept telling him to do his homework, “No ifs, ands, or buts!”

The problem with physicists is that they tend to cheat in order to get results.

– The problem with mathematicians is that they tend to work on toy problems in order to get results.

– The problem with program verifiers is that they tend to cheat at toy problems in order to get results.

Eight bytes walk into a bar. The bartender asks, “Can I get you anything?”
– “Yeah,” reply the bytes. “Make us a double.”

What do you call a programmer from Finland?
– Nerdic

I was blind, so my friend suggested me to learn programming.
– Now I csharp.

There are two ways of constructing a software design.
– One way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies.
– The other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies.
– The first method is far more difficult.

Thou shalt not share.
– If other programmers needed some of your code, they should have written it themselves.

All programmers are playwrights, and all computers are lousy actors.

“Whats the object-oriented way to become wealthy?”

– Inheritance

I am a member of an online community which appreciates & discusses the programming language C.
– We call ourselves the ‘C-Men’.

If you can touch it and you can see it, it’s REAL.
– If you can touch it but you can’t see it, it’s TRANSPARENT.
– If you can’t touch it but you can see it, it’s VIRTUAL.
– If you can’t touch it and you can’t see it, it’s GONE.

If builders built buildings the way programmers write programs, then the first woodpecker to come along would destroy civilization.

Me: Will you be my Valentine?
– Girl: No way
– Me: sudo will you be my Valentine?
– Girl: Yes..yes..yes! Let’s go!

Got a B in my computer programming class
– Call that a C++

I know I did okay on today’s programming test…
– …because my teacher gave me a C++.

A software verifier read in the Bible that God protects all fools, and decided to test it empirically.
– He jumped out of the window and broke a leg.
– There he lies, writhing in pain, and happily thinks: “I never really considered myself a fool, but I never knew I was THAT clever!”

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