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Coding jokes 👨‍💻 in 2025

Give a man a program, frustrate him for a day.
– Teach a man to program, frustrate him for a lifetime.

Thou shalt not document.
– Documentation only comes in handy for making future modifications. You made the software perfect the first time, it will never need modifications.

Programming is like sex:
– One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

There’s no place like 127.0.0.1

I watched so many programming tutorial videos in college
– My inner monologue started developing an Indian accent

A system programmer came home from work almost at dawn and told his wife enthusiastically: “Tonight I have installed a new release of MVS/ESA together with VM/CMS and CICS/VS”.
– “G.O.O.D” answered his wife.

Al-gor-ithm” means “The unscrupulous technique of continuing to count and re-count until you get the result you want.” (Sent by Gary Gilmore)

The three most dangerous things in the world are a programmer with a soldering iron, a hardware engineer with a software patch, and a user with an idea.

How did the programmer die in the shower?

– He read the shampoo bottle instructions: Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Here’s a short programming joke: !false
– It’s funny because it’s **true**. I hope that makes you laugh a *bit*.

All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors.

How many IBM employees does it take to change a light bulb?
– Fifteen. Five to do it, and ten to write document number GC7500439-001, Multitasking Incadescent Source System Facility, of which 10% of the pages state only “This page intentionally left blank”.

All programmers are playwright, and all computers are lousy actors.

Java is the most misogynistic programming language in existence
– It thinks women are objects

Debugging is like being the detective in a crime movie where you’re also the murderer

Thou shalt not hurry.
– Only the cute and the mighty should get the program by deadline.

A man is smoking a cigarette and blowing smoke rings into the air. His girlfriend becomes irritated with the smoke and says, “Can’t you see the warning on the cigarette pack? Smoking is hazardous to your health!”

– To which the man replies, “I am a programmer. We don’t worry about warnings; we only worry about errors.”

Algorithm- word used by programmers when they don’t want to explain what they did.

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