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Coding jokes 👨‍💻 in 2025

Why all Pascal programmers ask to live in Atlantis?
– Because it is below C level.

How many Windows programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
– Seventy two. One to write WinGetLightBulbHandle, one to write WinQueryStatusLightBulb, one to write WinGetLightSwitchHandle …

Two bytes meet. The first byte asks, “Are you ill?”
– The second byte replies, “No, just feeling a bit off.”

I’m so good at programming I don’t even need to test before I ship code.
– Sent my program last week and haven’t heard of any problems since!

A programmer is a person who fixes a problem you don’t know you have in a way that you don’t understand.

Thou shalt not provide help.
– If your users can not figure out themselves how to use your software than they are too dumb to deserve the benefits of your software anyway.

Programming is 10% science, 20% ingenuity, and 70% getting the ingenuity to work with the science.

Why did the programmer quit his job?
– Because he did not get arrays.

Programming jokes are fun…
– … but only when executed properly.

How do you keep a programmer in the shower all day?
– Give him a bottle of shampoo which says “lather, rinse, repeat.”

Every program is either trivial or it contains at least one bug.

From the Random Shack Data Processing Dictionary:

– Endless Loop: n., see Loop, Endless.
– Loop, Endless: n., see Endless Loop.

Why do programmers always get Christmas and Halloween mixed up?

– Because DEC 25 = OCT 31

The two most difficult things in programming…
– The two most difficult things in programming are memory management, naming things, and off by one errors.

Have you heard they are developing an Object Oriented version of COBOL?
– It’s called…Bruce

How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?
– Three: One to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.

How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
– None–It is a hardware problem.

Why was the programming language afraid when it entered the arena?
– It had enumerable foes.

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