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Coding jokes 👨‍💻 in 2025

There are two eternal problems in traditional software engineering:

– Garbage collection2. Naming things3. Off-by-one errors

Thou shalt not revise.
– Your interpretation of specs was right, you know the users’ requirements better than them.

There are three kinds of lies: Lies, damned lies, and benchmarks.

How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

– none, that’s a hardware problem

What programming languages would we use if C didn’t exist?
– PASAL, OBOL and BASI

“Have you heard about the object-oriented way to become wealthy?”
– “No…”
– “Inheritance.”

If cars had followed the same developmental path as computers, a Rolls Royce would cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and crash once a year.

Some people, when confronted with a problem, think, ‘I know, I’ll use threads’ – and then two they hav erpoblesms.

As a stats major I’m ashamed to say I’ve never done any programming
– But I still excel in my field!

Why did Johnny fail his programming class?
– His mom kept telling him to do his homework, “No ifs, ands, or buts!”

The problem with physicists is that they tend to cheat in order to get results.

– The problem with mathematicians is that they tend to work on toy problems in order to get results.

– The problem with program verifiers is that they tend to cheat at toy problems in order to get results.

Eight bytes walk into a bar. The bartender asks, “Can I get you anything?”
– “Yeah,” reply the bytes. “Make us a double.”

What do you call a programmer from Finland?
– Nerdic

I was blind, so my friend suggested me to learn programming.
– Now I csharp.

There are two ways of constructing a software design.
– One way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies.
– The other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies.
– The first method is far more difficult.

Thou shalt not share.
– If other programmers needed some of your code, they should have written it themselves.

All programmers are playwrights, and all computers are lousy actors.

“Whats the object-oriented way to become wealthy?”

– Inheritance

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