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Coding jokes 👨‍💻 in 2025

How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
– None – It’s a hardware problem

0 is false and 1 is true, right?
– 1

I turned in my programming assignment
– Which came out to say “Hello world!”. I received a C+. I walked up to my professor and said, “Actually, this is C++”.

If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.
– The rest of them will write Perl programs.

Have you heard about the new Cray super computer?
– It’s so fast, it executes an infinite loop in 6 seconds.

The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.

What did the Java code say to the C code?

– You’ve got no class.

Teacher: “How would you describe your level of programming?”
– Students: “Low”

– Teacher: “Ok, fine, you can write programs in assembler then”

Once a programmer drowned in the sea. Many Marines where at that time on the beach, but the programmer was shouting “F1 F1” and nobody understood it.

How many maintenance programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
– None. They try to fix the old one.
– “We looked at the light fixture and decided there’s no point trying to maintain it. We’re going to rewrite it from scratch. Could you wait two months?”

Boss: What is your address?
– Me: 173.168.15.10

Boss: No, your local address
– Me: 127.0.01

Boss: I mean your physical address
– Me: 29:01:38:62:31:58

99 programming bugs in the code.

– 99 programming bugs.

– Take one down, patch it all up.

– 111 programming bugs in the code.

A programming genius named Sewter
– Built a limerick-writing computer

– The metre was fine

– And the rhymes quite divine

– But for some reason it always got the last line wrong-

Thou shalt not fix abort conditions.
– Your user has a better chance of winning state lottery than getting the same abort again.

Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
– Because Oct 31 equals Dec 25.

Why do Java programmers have to wear glasses?
– A: Because, they don’t C#

Since MIT is giving free access to their courses online, I shall study Computer science web programming with Python and Java
as I thought it would be so cool to have a large snake round my neck as I drink coffee.

Software undergoes beta testing shortly before it’s released. Beta is Latin for ‘still doesn’t work.

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