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Chuck Norris jokes in 2025

Chuck Norris doesn’t read books.
-He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris never retreats;
-He just attacks in the opposite direction.

When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror, the mirror shatters.
-Because not even glass is dumb enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

When a zombie apocalypse starts, Chuck Norris doesn’t try to survive.
-The zombies do.

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win.
– Forever.

Chuck Norris invented airplanes
-because he was tired of being the only person that could fly.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup,
-he’s pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris’s computer has no “backspace” button,
-Chuck Norris doesn’t make mistakes.

In the Beginning there was nothing …
-then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job.

Chuck Norris once went to mars.
-Thats why there are no signs of life.

The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once.
-You know what happened to them.

Chuck Norris doesn’t read books.
– He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin.
-Its descendants are now known as giraffes.

Chuck Norris doesn’t play “hide-and-seek.
-” He plays “hide-and-pray-I-don’t-find-you.”

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