Christmas jokes 🎄 in 2025

What do you call Santa if he also lives in the South Pole?
– Bi-Polar.

What do you call a broke Santa?
– Saint Nickel-less

What does a grumpy sheep say when his friends told him Merry Christmas?
– Baaaa humbug!

Why does Santa have three gardens?
– So he can ‘ho ho ho’!

The 3 stages of man: He believes in Santa Claus. He doesn’t believe in Santa Claus. He is Santa Claus.

What’s the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Santa was smart enough to stop at three hos.

What does Santa do when his elves misbehave?
– He gives them the sack!

What kind of photos do elves take?
– Elfies!

What’s the difference between Santa and a knight?
– One slays the dragon, the other drags the sleigh.

What’s the difference between a Christmas tree and a man?
– A Christmas tree will stay up for 12 nights, has cute balls and looks good with the lights on.

What happens if you eat Christmas decorations?
– You get tinsel-it is.

What do reindeers say before they tell you a joke?
– This one’s gonna sleigh you!

What is a bird’s favorite Christmas story?
– The Finch Who Stole Christmas.

What did Santa do when he went speed dating?
– He pulled a cracker!

Did you know that Santa’s not allowed to go down chimneys this year?
– It was declared unsafe by the Elf and Safety Commission.

Why was the snowman smiling?
– He could see the snowblower coming down the street.

What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
– Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!

Who delivers Christmas presents to elephants?
– Elephanta Claus.