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Christmas jokes 🎄 in 2025

A book never written: How to Decorate a Tree, by Orna Ment.

I can’t get to the chocolates in my advent calendar. Foiled again.

Why did the Grinch go to the liquor store?
– He was searching for some holiday spirit.

What do you call an elf that can sing and dance?
– Elfis.

What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
– Do you smell carrots?

What’s Santa’s favorite snack food?
– Crisp Pringles.

Why does St. Nick like the Temptations’ version of Silent Night best?
– Because Santa Was A Rolling Stone.

Why did the Grinch rob the liquor store?
– He desperately needed some holiday spirit.

What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
– Frosted Flakes or Ice Crispies.

What did one snowman say another snowman?
– You’re cool.

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
– Frostbite!

Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist?
– He sold his soul to Santa.

Where do Santa’s reindeer stop for coffee?
– Star-bucks!

Why did no one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay?
– Because they were two deer!

What happened to the thief who stole a Christmas calendar?
– He got 12 months.

What does the Grinch do with a baseball bat?
– Hits a gnome and runs.

What do the elves call it when Father Christmas claps his hands at the end of a play?
– Santapplause!

Why does Santa always come through the chimney?
– Because he knows better than to try the back door.

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