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Christmas jokes 🎄 in 2025

Why don’t crabs celebrate Christmas?
– Because they’re shell-fish.

Why wouldn’t the Christmas tree stand up?
– It had no legs.

How do you help someone who’s lost their Christmas spirit?
– Nurse them back to elf.

What’s the most popular Christmas carol in the desert?
– Oh caaamel ye faithful.

Why do reindeer like Beyoncé so much?
– She sleighs.

What does the gingerbread man put on his bed?
– Cookie sheets!

What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar?
– He got 25 days!

Why was Theresa May sacked as Nativity Manager?
– She couldn’t run a stable government!

Why did Santa divorce Mrs. Claus?
– He refused to let go of all those irritating ho’s.

What do grapes sing at Christmas?
– ‘Tis the season to be jelly.

What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
– The Christmas alphabet has No-el.es

What do you get when Santa becomes a detective?
– Santa CLUES!

Why did Frosty ask for a divorce?
– His wife was a total flake.

Why are Comet, Cupid, and Donner, and always wet?
– Because they are rain deer.

Why is Santa so damn jolly?
– Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

What does Miley Cyrus have at Christmas?
– Twerky!

Why does Santa work at the North Pole?
– Because the penguins kicked him out of the South Pole!

What do snowmen wear on their heads?
– Ice caps!

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