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Carrot jokes 🥕 in 2024

I couldn’t find the thingy that peels potatoes and carrots, so I asked my kids if they’d seen it.
– Apparently, she left me two days ago.

What did one snowman say to the other?
– Does it smell like carrots?

A man walks in to a green grocer’s
“Excuse me ma’am, are these carrots genetically modified?”
– “No” interrupted the carrot.

What’s invisible and smells like carrots?
– Rabbit farts.

What’s orange and never shuts up?
– A carrot reading the bible!

I saw my sister masturbating with a carrot……
– I said, Come on, dammit, I was gonna eat that later! Now it’s just gonna taste like carrots!”

Why is a carrot orange and pointy?
– Because if it was green and round it would want to pea!

So a guy walks into the doctor’s office with a celery stick in each ear and a carrot in each nose nostril…
He mumbles to the doctor “I think there’s something wrong.” to which the doctor replies
– “I don’t think you’re eating right.”

How do you make your soup golden?
– Add 24 carrots.

How do you make gold soup?
– Put 24 carrots in it.

Some people don’t like vegetable puns…
– but I don’t carrot all about their opinions.

What do you call an emo carrot?
– An edgetable.

Who’s there?
Carrot Carrot who?
– Do you carrot all about me!

A man goes to the doctor with a carrot in his nose, cabbage in his ears and ham over his eyes. What’s wrong with me doc? He asks.
– The doctor replies Well it looks like you’re not eating right.

How do you kill a salad?
– You go for the carrot-id artery.

What’s the difference between a rabbit on a treadmill and a rabbit with a carrot stuck up its nose?
– One is a fit bunny and the other is a bit funny

Why was Frosty inspecting the carrots at the grocery store?
– He was picking his nose.

What did the carrot say to the rabbit?
– Do you want to grab a bite?

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