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Carrot jokes 🥕 in 2025

What did the carrot say to the rabbit?
– Do you want to grab a bite?

NSFW Dad walks into a room
And sees his daughter masturbating with a carrot.
“Daamn” – he says: “I was going to eat that later! And now it’s gonna taste like carrots!!!”

Lately, I’ve grown increasingly apathetic towards eating vegetables.
– Some days, I just don’t carrot all.

why do bunnys like bruno mars
– cuz he got 24 carrots

Carrots may be good….
– Carrots may be good for your eyes but booze will double your vision.

What did the carrot say to the vibrator?
– “Why are you shaking? It’s me she’s going to eat!”

A carrot and a celery are walking down the street.
A car comes by and runs over the celery. The carrot picks him up and rushes him to the hospital. After waiting a long time the doctor comes out of the emergency room and the carrot jumps up and asks “Is he going to be okay?”
– The doctor replies “Well… he’s going to live, but he’ll be a vegetable for the rest of his life.”

What do you call a carrot with 4 sides?
– A square root.

Whats orange and smells of carrots?
– Rabbit puke!

What type of jewelry does the Easter Bunny wear?
– 24 carrot

A carrot, some corn and a cucumber fell into the ocean.
– Now they’re all C foods.

Two rabbits are eating carrots
…from farmer Brown’s field. One turns to the other and says, “This carrot is pithy.” The other rabbit says, “I guess so. I just pithed on it.”

What is the difference between a unicorn and a carrot?
– One is a funny beast and the other is a bunny feast.

When does a carrot wear a mask?
– To the mascarrot ball. (Masquerade)

How do you catch a rabbit?
– Hide behind a tree and make carrot sounds.

I have a vegan girlfriend.
– She’s nice and all, but sometimes I think she just looks at me like a piece of carrot.

What kind of vegetable watches over the elderly?
– The Carrot-aker.

What’s the difference between a fortune teller and a farmer with retarded bunnies
– One deals with tarot cards while the other deals with carrot tards.

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