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Car Jokes 🚗 in 2025

What did the moderator say to kick off the IT speed dating session?
-“Singles, sign on!”

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather,
-but not like the other passengers in the car with him.

I was reversing my car in the garage and asked my son to spot me, and let me know when I hit the wall.
-I heard a bang.
“3:45 PM”, he said.

What ruined Tiger Woods’ golf career?
-His driving game.

What did Jenny get for her birthday after a car accident
-An amputation

Did you hear about the Trump terrorist who tried to blow up a car?
-He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe.

In order to get to the valves, a mechanic carefully removed the engine parts from a car while the car owner – a surgeon – looked on.
-Afterwards the mechanic said to the surgeon:
‘You know, I reckon my line of work is every bit as difficult and skilled as yours.’

‘Perhaps,’ said the surgeon, ‘But I’d like to see you do it while the engine is running.’

Frog car
– What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.

Apple is set to release their new electric smart car in 2024…
-It will be the first apple product with windows.

Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted,
-but man who runs in front of car will get tired.

A young boy is listening to the radio in the car with his father. “Dad, what music did you like growing up?”
-I was a huge fan of Led Zeppelin,” the father replies.

“Who?” the son asks.

“Yeah,” the dad responds, “I liked them too.”

car service outrage
-I recently paid $300 for a limousine and I just found out the fee doesn’t include a driver.

I can’t believe I spent all that money and have nothing to chauffeur it.

How do you get a dozen Americans out of a car?
-Tell them to stay inside the car.

What kind of car does yoda drive
– A toyoda

What does an adventurous baker give you during a car ride?
– Road bread.

After a life of cybercrime, how did the hacker get to heaven?
– So the juggler starts tossing and juggling the knives. A guy driving by sees this and says, “Wow, am I glad I quit drinking. Look at the test they’re making you do now!”

I was doing friendly finger pistols to a neighbor the other day on my way to the car.
-I was later charged for assault with a handgun.

What do you tell a hacker after a bad breakup?
-There are plenty of phish in the sea!

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