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Car Jokes 🚗 in 2025

What is the sushi chef’s dream car?
-rolls rice

Two police officers crash their car into a tree. After a moment of silence, one of them says,
– “Wow, that’s got to be the fastest we’ve ever gotten to an accident site.”

Someone keyed the music teacher’s car
-Fortunately, the damage seems to B Minor.

A car is like a woman
-A car is like a woman.

If she looks hot and performs super well during the ride, you will spend as much money as you have to in order keep her engine revving for you.

I hope that one day, I can turbocharge my car
– But that’s just an aspiration

A cop pulls over a miner and asks “Whose car is this? Where are you headed? What do you do?”
-“Mine.”

just made my last car payment
-I still owe a lot but I’m just not paying anymore

What kind of car does Megan Thee Stallion drive?
-An Audi Audi Audi Audi Audi Audi

Race car backwards is race car
– But race car sideways is how Paul Walker died

Why are women so bad at parking cars?
– Because for the last 200 years they’ve been told that three inches are actually six.

New Teslas don’t come with a new car smell
-they come with an Elon Musk

My boss showed up this morning in a new Porsche. I said, “what an amazing car”…
-And he replied, “yeah – if you work really hard, put lots of hours in and strive for excellence at all times, I should be able to get another one next year”.

A penguin takes his car to the garage
– A penguin takes his car in to the garage to get fixed and he goes to have an ice cream. The ice cream starts to melt and goes all over his face.

When he goes to pick his car up the mechanic says “you blew a seal”

The penguin says “nah it’s just ice cream!”

Quarantine has turned us into dogs.
– We roam the house all day looking for food. We are told “no” if we get too close to strangers. And we get really excited about car rides.

So the cops caught me doing doughnuts in my car today.
-I know what you’re thinking. Who the hell names their dog doughnuts

Why are Ford cars cheap?
-Because they’re affordable.

In New York every ten minutes someone gets hit by a car
-He or she must be really tired of it

Have you heard about Ford’s new electric coffee car?
-It’s the Mach-E Auto.

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