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Car Jokes 🚗 in 2025

My sister argued with me that you can’t make a car out of spaghetti,
– you should have seen her face when I drove pasta

Just a quick note to my American cousins. Voting is like driving a car….
– ‘D’ to go forward.

‘R’ to go reverse.

100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rick had cars. Today everyone own cars and only the rich own horses.
– The stables have turned.

Before Elon Musk got into electric cars…
-… he was plain old Lon Musk

Today I saw a car parked with a bumper sticker that said “I miss New york”
-So I smashed his window in and stole his radio.

What is the most edible part of a car?
-The passenger.

Where do pickles go to buy a car?
-The dillership!

Thought this up while driving behind a car with a Star Wars Rebel sticker on it.
-What is the favorite type of weather of Stormtroopers?

Mist

Whats the difference between a cow and a car?
-I don’t have a car

What did the moderator say to kick off the IT speed dating session?
-“Singles, sign on!”

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather,
-but not like the other passengers in the car with him.

I was reversing my car in the garage and asked my son to spot me, and let me know when I hit the wall.
-I heard a bang.
“3:45 PM”, he said.

What ruined Tiger Woods’ golf career?
-His driving game.

What did Jenny get for her birthday after a car accident
-An amputation

Did you hear about the Trump terrorist who tried to blow up a car?
-He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe.

In order to get to the valves, a mechanic carefully removed the engine parts from a car while the car owner – a surgeon – looked on.
-Afterwards the mechanic said to the surgeon:
‘You know, I reckon my line of work is every bit as difficult and skilled as yours.’

‘Perhaps,’ said the surgeon, ‘But I’d like to see you do it while the engine is running.’

Frog car
– What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.

Apple is set to release their new electric smart car in 2024…
-It will be the first apple product with windows.

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