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Candy jokes 🍭🍬🍫 in 2025

What is Pennywise’s favorite candy?
– Sour Patch Kids

Successfully ran away from the cops today, after I stole a candy bar
– They tried their best, but I had too many Twix up my sleeve.

What’s the most popular sweet at the North Pole?
– Ice crispy treats.

What is a monkey’s favorite cookie?
– Chocolate chimp!

Music is like candy…
– It’s great once you get rid of the rapper.

A guy, desperate for a drink walks into a candy store. He looks around and after a while the storekeeper says, “Can I help you with anything?”
– The guy replies, “Yeah, I really need a drink! Got any liquor?
– “Well, I’m not sure but there is this here,” replies the storekeeper.
– “What is that?”
– “It’s liquor-ish”

What candy do you eat on the playground?
– Recess pieces.

What do you call an Altoid that loves word play?
– A punnish-mint.

I steal candy bars using sleight of hand.
– You could say I have a few Twix up my sleeve.

Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?
– Because he wanted sweet dreams!

What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate?
– A Kitty Kat bar!

What’s the most popular candy in Rwanda?
– Tutsi Roll

I know a guy who collects candy canes
– They’re all in mint condition.

What contry did candy come from?
– Sweetland or Candyland

What does NASA call a dog standing on a Mars Bar?
– Rover

Ending childhood obesity is easy.
– It’s as easy as taking candy from a baby.

Oh no the apocalypse is here! I’ve already killed 12 zombies! How’s everyone else doing? Also one question.
– Does anyone know why they all have bags of candy?

What’s a Rabbi’s favourite candy?
– Jew-jubes.

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