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Candy jokes 🍭🍬🍫 in 2025

I steal candy bars using slight of hand…
– You could say I have a few Twix up my sleeve

What kind of beans grow in the Easter Bunny’s garden?
– Jelly beans!

Why do lollipops always fall for scams?
– They’re suckers.

A candy stargazer saw the brightest star in the Milky Way that night.

What do you call a Greek who loves candy?
– Popsicles

I’m considering stuffing my clothes with candy bars.
– That way, I’ll always have Twix up my sleeve.

How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
– You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.

How can you tell that a blondes been baking chocolate chip cookies?
– There’s M&M shells all over the floor.

Joel Osteen is coming out with his own brand of candy bars.
– They’re called Charlatan Chew.

What do you call a priest in a candy shop?
– A scout

What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
– A chocolate baa

What is an astronauts favorite chocolate?
– A marsbar!

My favorite quote will always be, “Sketchy candy is better than no candy”
– One of the thousands of missing children

I remember when you could walk into a store with a quarter and walk out with a can of coke and a candy bar.
– nowadays they have cameras everywhere

Apparently you have to pay extra for candy these days
– They call it the Tic Tax

What type of candy is never on time?
– choco-LATE

Why was the blonde fired from the M&M factory?
– She kept throwing away the W’s.

The principal praised the candy teachers for bean there for students during difficulties.

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