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Candy jokes 🍭🍬🍫 in 2025

I was out driving on Halloween and I hit a cat, I think it was dressed like a cat. It could have been a piñata for all I know because there was candy everywhere.

Somebody sprayed free candy on my van.
– The joke is on them, i have no candy.

What happened to the man who only ate Skittles?
– He farted rainbows.

What’s white, red and blue at Christmas time?
– A sad candy cane!

A diet-conscious person couldn’t Reese-ist the candy which she had seen in the candy shop.

Why do Scandinavian kids visit candy stores the most?
– Because it’s really Sweden there.

Whenever I give my seat on the bus to an elderly person, they’re as happy as a kid in a candy store…
– I do the same in the men’s bathroom and they hobble away as fast as they can.

Why did the Skittles go to school?
– They wanted to become Smarties!

I found out what the devils favorite flavor of candy is.
– It’s caramhell with a bit of sin a man.

I steal candy bars using slight of hand…
– You could say I have a few Twix up my sleeve

What kind of beans grow in the Easter Bunny’s garden?
– Jelly beans!

Why do lollipops always fall for scams?
– They’re suckers.

A candy stargazer saw the brightest star in the Milky Way that night.

What do you call a Greek who loves candy?
– Popsicles

I’m considering stuffing my clothes with candy bars.
– That way, I’ll always have Twix up my sleeve.

How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
– You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.

How can you tell that a blondes been baking chocolate chip cookies?
– There’s M&M shells all over the floor.

Joel Osteen is coming out with his own brand of candy bars.
– They’re called Charlatan Chew.

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