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Calculus Jokes ➗ in 2025

Newton: I’ve discovered calculus(1664).
– Leibneiz: I’ve discovered calculus(1670s) Newton: Really? Seems derivative.

I’ll do algebra. I’ll do trigonometry. I’ll even do calculus!
– But graphing is simply where I draw the line.

[Calculus Joke] Why didn’t the derivative of sec(x) go to the beach?
-Because secant tan

A man brags before his friend : “I’m very fast at calculus !”
-So his friend, curious now, asks :

– 72043 divided by 17 ?

The man immediately replies :

– 6.

– But… that’s wrong!

– Yep. But it’s fast!

They said calculus would be integral to my education
-I found it a little derivative.

What do you call a recycled calculus pun?
-Derivative humor.

dolphins doing calculus be like
-(eᴱ)’ = Eeᴱ

Someone released a set of supplementary notes on a textbook about differential calculus.
-It was a derivative work.

What kind of calculus do frogs use?
-Der – ribbit – tives

Why do Americans suck at calculus?
-White people have never been good at integration.

A student calls his college to enrol in a calculus course…
A student calls his college and says “I want to take calculus, but the system won’t let me enrol”. The woman on the other line looks at his record and says: “it looks like you’re already taking a full course load! don’t you know what the limit is?”, to which he replies:
-“That’s what I’m trying to find!”

Why is the south bad at calculus?
-They don’t know how to integrate.

Got pulled over while doing calculus in my car last night
-Cop said I was deriving over the limit.

A 120-pound camera sits atop a tripod. How much force does each leg hold?
-Whoops. Meant to type 130. Forgot that the camera adds 10 pounds.

Why don’t Calculus majors throw house parties?
– # Why don’t Calculus majors throw house parties?

Because you should never drink and derive.

What’s long, hard, and scary when you first see it?
-Calculus homework.

Two calculus professors are sitting in a bar.
– One says: “I am so disappointed in people nowadays. Hardly anyone understands calculus properly.”

I knew calculus would kill me some day
-… I should have seen the warning sines.

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