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Calculus Jokes ➗ in 2025

Why do calculus teachers hate the Final Fantasy games?
– The characters keep breaking their limits.

Did you know that people who dislike calculus are typically racists?
-They hate integration.

What’s the integral of (1/cabin)d(cabin)?
-A natural log cabin!

Baby you make me wish I was good at calculus.
– Cauz they ain’t no limit to how much I want to define the area under your curves.

Why did the Klansmen fail calculus?
– Because they hated integration so much

When Gottfried Leibniz passed away, he was buried in his hometown
-Some time after his death, the local townspeople found him sitting upright in his grave, furiously rubbing out page after page of calculus.
At first they were alarmed by the sight, but then they realised… he was only disintegrating.

Why don’t they teach Calculus in the Deep South?
-Because they don’t like integration.

How did Isaac Newton formalize calculus?
-He went out on a lim

Why was the calculus teacher bad at baseball?
-He was better at fitting curves than hitting them.

What does a math wizard tell the lazy calculus student?
-You! Shall! Not! Pass!

Why did the hippy teach the lumberjack calculus?
-So he’d use natural logs!

What is the value of the contour integral around Western Europe?
-Zero.

When God integrated Planet Earth, he thankfully recalled his Calculus lesson.
– He remembered to add the sea.

My whole family bonded over math. Calculus was our religion. Except my grandfather…
-…he was against integration.

Credit: Matthew Broussard

I hate calculus…
-I sometime wonder why I thought I should SINE up for this.

TIL several states in the South banned calculus from schools in the 1950’s.
-Apparently they opposed integration.

How does a mathematician induce good behavior in her children?
-“I’ve told you n times, I’ve told you n+1 times…”

I had a really good discussion with my calculus professor today
-but after a while, it started going off on a really weird tangent.

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