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Cactus jokes 🌵🌵 in 2025

The wife cactus was upset. The husband asked her what happened. She replied: “You’ve been taking me for planted.”

Knock, knock.
Who’s there? Great things. Great things who? Great things come in spiny packages

What does a cactus wear to a business meeting?
– A cac-tie.

There are a lot of intelligent cacti because cactus parents only know how to raise sharp kids.

The little cactus picked lots of food off his plate before he started eating. He was a prickly eater.

Why didn’t the cactus have friends?
– He was a bit prickly.

What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?
– A mega-lo-sore-arse.

Why didn’t the cactus have friends?
– He was a bit prickly.

I hope your bank account will be as green as a cactus.

Now, I’m no cactus expert…
– But I know a prick when I see one.

I know there’s something wrong with my cactus,
– but I just can’t put my finger on it.

Cactus puns are succulent.

The cactus couple threw a Christmas party for the neighborhood, and on the cake, they wrote, “Merry Cactmas.”

The cactus finally got his certification to practice medicine. He was now a doctor in spike-ology. If you like this cactus pun, you’ll also like these awesome medical jokes.

Is there something wrong with your cactus?
– “Yes, but I can’t put my finger on it.”

What do you call a cactus on a plane?
– A cactus. It doesn’t matter where it is, it’s still a cactus!

Whenever a cactus goes for a job interview, they always wear a cactie.

A cactus once accidentally broke the favorite tub of another cactus. So the second cactus came to him and said, “Hey, I have a bone to prick with you.”

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