Most Popular Categories

All Categories

Cactus jokes 🌵🌵 in 2025

The little cactus was feeling sad one day. So to cheer her up her mother said, “What do you have to worry about? You’re a suc-cute-lent.”

The cactus couple love their new apartment. They’re happy occuplants.

What do you call a cactus on a plane?
A cactus — it doesn’t matter where it is, it’s still a cactus!

What did the cactus say when he was robbing the bank?
– Stick ’em up.

There was a man who kept calling his wife Cactus every time he saw her, when actually her name was Vera. He said it was quicker than saying, “‘Allo Vera!” every time.

The cactus forgot his way back home when he decided to go on a solo adventure. He was in quite a prickle.

Disappointed by my family tree. Turns out it’s a cactus. There’s a prick on every branch.

I dropped my cactus the other day. The worst part?
– I caught it

What did the boy cactus say to the girl cactus?
– You prickle my fancy.

The two cactus best friends patched up after an ugly fight. One said to the other, “Let’s stick together from now on.”

A cactus once won 100,000 dollars in a lottery, but while he was going to pick the money up, he lost the ticket. The prickle finger of fate was certainly cruel to him.

You’re so kinky you’re like a sexy cactus.

“Gary, you need to be less selfish. Remember, it’s cact-us.”
– “Actually, sweetie, the plural is cact-I.”

I’m on pins and needles.

I trusted my cactus, but it seems that he just stabbed me in the back.

When the little cactus won her first trophy in school, she came back home shouting to everyone: “I have some plantastic news.”

What did the happy cactus say to the grumpy cactus?
– “Don’t be so prickly.”

There was once a guy who took an art class that concentrated on cactus photography. He said it was a very pricky subject.

Follow us on Facebook