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Cactus jokes 🌵🌵 in 2025

The coach was choosing players for the baseball team. The little overly excited cactus started yelling, “Prick me! Prick me!”

What did the porcupine say to the cactus?
– “Hey there, good looking.”

You should try the grilled Aloe Vera when you go to a restaurant. It’s very succulent.

Two cacti were having a conversation about the cactus in their school who never listened to anybody. One of them said, “I tried talking to him, but it’s like banging my head against a prick wall.”

I’m glad I pricked you.

What do you call a succulent in the Hunger Games?
– Cactus Everdeen.

I’m just pricking up the pieces.

When the team of cacti scientists got stuck in the middle of an experiment, one guy came ahead and tried a different way to succeed. His teammate later told him, “That was an efficactus approach you took there.”

When the little cactus won her first trophy in school, she came back home shouting to everyone, “I have some plantastic news.”

Knock knock. Is it a cactus knocking on my door? Are you on drugs, bro?

What did one cactus say to the other cactus?
– Let’s stick together.

All succulents become a lot more selfish when they are in teams, probably
– because they become Cact-i from Cact-us.

Sitting around the campfire, a cactus was telling a horror story. Another cactus that was listening intently said, “I’m on pins and needles.”

Whenever a cactus goes for a job interview, he always wears a cactie.

Where does the head of all the cacti keep his armies?
– In his sleevies.

Why is it so hard to come up with a cactus joke?
– Because it is such a thorny problem.

A cactus got picked for his school football team one day and helped them win their most important match. His teammates all told him later that they were sure glad that they pricked him.

The dad cactus wanted to dress up like a porcupine. He said, “That’ll just prickle my fancy.”

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