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Cactus jokes 🌵🌵 in 2025

Knock knock. Is it a cactus knocking on my door? Are you on drugs, bro?

What did one cactus say to the other cactus?
– Let’s stick together.

All succulents become a lot more selfish when they are in teams, probably
– because they become Cact-i from Cact-us.

Sitting around the campfire, a cactus was telling a horror story. Another cactus that was listening intently said, “I’m on pins and needles.”

Whenever a cactus goes for a job interview, he always wears a cactie.

Where does the head of all the cacti keep his armies?
– In his sleevies.

Why is it so hard to come up with a cactus joke?
– Because it is such a thorny problem.

A cactus got picked for his school football team one day and helped them win their most important match. His teammates all told him later that they were sure glad that they pricked him.

The dad cactus wanted to dress up like a porcupine. He said, “That’ll just prickle my fancy.”

You’re prickly like a cactus, but I love you anyway.

If one cacti is a cactus, is a single broccoli a brocculus?
– Just some food for thought.

I’m in a prickle.

A cactus once got in a music machine and couldn’t get out of it. The machine kept playing one song on repeat. The cactus later said that he was stuck on the song.

The cactus couple loved their new apartment. They were very happy occuplants.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cactus. Cactus who? The drunk talking cactus with a public announcement: you drank too much.

What did the boy cactus say to the girl cactus?
– We make a prickly pair.

The cactus went to the restaurant one day. He ordered some desert at the end of his meal.

The cactus went to a hairdresser and got a new haircut because she wanted to be looking sharp for her upcoming interview. The assistant had to prick her hair up from the floor later.

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