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Cactus jokes 🌵🌵 in 2025

A cactus got picked for his school football team one day and helped them win their most important match. His teammates all told him later that they were sure glad that they pricked him.

The dad cactus wanted to dress up like a porcupine. He said, “That’ll just prickle my fancy.”

You’re prickly like a cactus, but I love you anyway.

If one cacti is a cactus, is a single broccoli a brocculus?
– Just some food for thought.

I’m in a prickle.

A cactus once got in a music machine and couldn’t get out of it. The machine kept playing one song on repeat. The cactus later said that he was stuck on the song.

The cactus couple loved their new apartment. They were very happy occuplants.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cactus. Cactus who? The drunk talking cactus with a public announcement: you drank too much.

What did the boy cactus say to the girl cactus?
– We make a prickly pair.

The cactus went to the restaurant one day. He ordered some desert at the end of his meal.

The cactus went to a hairdresser and got a new haircut because she wanted to be looking sharp for her upcoming interview. The assistant had to prick her hair up from the floor later.

I’m no cactus expert, but I know a prick when I see one.

I dropped my cactus the other day. The worst part?
– I caught it

What do you call it when a whole bunch of cactus fall over?
– A cac-tas-trophy.

Two cactus best friends participated in a school play and played the role of Batman and Robin. Everyone said they made a prickly pear.

The cactus decided to take up acupuncture as a profession. It wasn’t the most prick-tical choice, but he made it work.

Someone is bitchy like a cactus, but that’s the way I like it, and you know who it is.

What do you call a pineapple with no yellow part?
– A cactus.

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