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Cactus jokes 🌵🌵 in 2025

I wanted to make up some cactus jokes for the comedy show, but it seems that I’m not that sharp.

The wife cactus was upset. The husband asked her what happened. She replied: “You’ve been taking me for planted.”

Knock, knock.
Who’s there? Great things. Great things who? Great things come in spiny packages

What does a cactus wear to a business meeting?
– A cac-tie.

There are a lot of intelligent cacti because cactus parents only know how to raise sharp kids.

The little cactus picked lots of food off his plate before he started eating. He was a prickly eater.

Why didn’t the cactus have friends?
– He was a bit prickly.

What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?
– A mega-lo-sore-arse.

Why didn’t the cactus have friends?
– He was a bit prickly.

I hope your bank account will be as green as a cactus.

Now, I’m no cactus expert…
– But I know a prick when I see one.

I know there’s something wrong with my cactus,
– but I just can’t put my finger on it.

Cactus puns are succulent.

The cactus couple threw a Christmas party for the neighborhood, and on the cake, they wrote, “Merry Cactmas.”

The cactus finally got his certification to practice medicine. He was now a doctor in spike-ology. If you like this cactus pun, you’ll also like these awesome medical jokes.

Is there something wrong with your cactus?
– “Yes, but I can’t put my finger on it.”

What do you call a cactus on a plane?
– A cactus. It doesn’t matter where it is, it’s still a cactus!

Whenever a cactus goes for a job interview, they always wear a cactie.

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