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Cactus jokes 🌵🌵 in 2024

What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?
– A mega-lo-sore-arse.

Why didn’t the cactus have friends?
– He was a bit prickly.

I hope your bank account will be as green as a cactus.

Now, I’m no cactus expert…
– But I know a prick when I see one.

I know there’s something wrong with my cactus,
– but I just can’t put my finger on it.

Cactus puns are succulent.

The cactus couple threw a Christmas party for the neighborhood, and on the cake, they wrote, “Merry Cactmas.”

The cactus finally got his certification to practice medicine. He was now a doctor in spike-ology. If you like this cactus pun, you’ll also like these awesome medical jokes.

Is there something wrong with your cactus?
– “Yes, but I can’t put my finger on it.”

What do you call a cactus on a plane?
– A cactus. It doesn’t matter where it is, it’s still a cactus!

Whenever a cactus goes for a job interview, they always wear a cactie.

A cactus once accidentally broke the favorite tub of another cactus. So the second cactus came to him and said, “Hey, I have a bone to prick with you.”

What do you call a rude cactus?
– A prick.

What do you call a lot of cactus?
– A cac-ton.

Where does the head of all the cacti keep his armies?
– In his sleevies.

The cactus who was turning 16, decided to throw a sweet 16 birthday party. Her friend said “I hope your birthday party planning is on point.”

The cactus needed something to cover his pointy ends before he went to the balloon festival. So he went and spiked a deal with the shopkeeper to give him something for a low price.

You’re cooler than a cactus in sunglasses.

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