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Cactus jokes 🌵🌵 in 2025

The favorite song of every cactus is, ‘Can’t Touch This.’

The newlywed cactus couple were on their honeymoon. The wife cactus told her husband: “I’m so glad that we pricked each other.” If you think that this is funny, you’ll enjoy these funny marriage jokes.

What do you call it when a whole bunch of cactus fall over?
– A cac-tas-trophy.

What’s the one job you shouldn’t give a cactus at your birthday party if he asks how he can help?
– Blowing up the balloons!

I hope your birthday is on point.

I can be a little prickly.

The newlywed cactus couple were on their honeymoon. The wife cactus told her husband, “I’m so glad that we pricked each other.”

The wife cactus was upset, and when the husband asked her what happened, she told him, “You’ve been taking me for planted.”

Knock knock. Who’s there? Not a cactus because cacti can’t knock.

The coach was choosing players for the baseball team. The little overly excited cactus started yelling, “Prick me! Prick me!”

What did the porcupine say to the cactus?
– “Hey there, good looking.”

You should try the grilled Aloe Vera when you go to a restaurant. It’s very succulent.

Two cacti were having a conversation about the cactus in their school who never listened to anybody. One of them said, “I tried talking to him, but it’s like banging my head against a prick wall.”

I’m glad I pricked you.

What do you call a succulent in the Hunger Games?
– Cactus Everdeen.

I’m just pricking up the pieces.

When the team of cacti scientists got stuck in the middle of an experiment, one guy came ahead and tried a different way to succeed. His teammate later told him, “That was an efficactus approach you took there.”

When the little cactus won her first trophy in school, she came back home shouting to everyone, “I have some plantastic news.”

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