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Cactus jokes 🌵🌵 in 2025

The cactus who was turning 16, decided to throw a sweet 16 birthday party. Her friend said: “I hope your birthday party planning is on point.”

What do you call a rude cactus?
– A prick.

The male cactus decided to propose to the female cactus. He went to her and said, “I’m ready to go from cact-i to cact-us.”

Why do coyotes howl in the night?
– Because they can only see the cacti in the day.

I heard about a man that fell on a cactus the other day. He said he’ll be sure to pay attention a lot more sharply next time.

What did the little cacti say to the big cactus when they were running away?
– “Cactus if you can!”

What did the porcupine say to the cactus?
– Is that you, Dad?

The cactus finally got his certification to practice medicine. He was now a doctor in spike-ology.

Someone stole the succulent plants from the house next door the other day. That was aloe move.

A group of cacti was going to a music show, and one of their friends was late. So they called him and said, “Will you please come prickly?”

What does a cactus smell like when you get too close?
– Blood.

The coach was choosing players for the baseball team. The little overly excited cactus started yelling, “Prick me! Prick me!”

What did the porcupine say to the cactus?
– “Hey there, good looking.”

You should try the grilled Aloe Vera when you go to a restaurant. It’s very succulent.

Two cacti were having a conversation about the cactus in their school who never listened to anybody. One of them said, “I tried talking to him, but it’s like banging my head against a prick wall.”

I’m glad I pricked you.

What do you call a succulent in the Hunger Games?
– Cactus Everdeen.

I’m just pricking up the pieces.

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