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Cactus jokes 🌵🌵 in 2025

The cactus who was turning 16, decided to throw a sweet 16 birthday party. Her friend said: “I hope your birthday party planning is on point.”

What do you call a rude cactus?
– A prick.

The male cactus decided to propose to the female cactus. He went to her and said, “I’m ready to go from cact-i to cact-us.”

What did the porcupine say to the cactus?
– Is that you, Dad?

The cactus finally got his certification to practice medicine. He was now a doctor in spike-ology.

Someone stole the succulent plants from the house next door the other day. That was aloe move.

A group of cacti was going to a music show, and one of their friends was late. So they called him and said, “Will you please come prickly?”

What does a cactus smell like when you get too close?
– Blood.

Why do coyotes howl in the night?
– Because they can only see the cacti in the day.

I heard about a man that fell on a cactus the other day. He said he’ll be sure to pay attention a lot more sharply next time.

What did the little cacti say to the big cactus when they were running away?
– “Cactus if you can!”

Why is it so hard to come up with a cactus joke?
– Because it is such a thorny problem.

A cactus got picked for his school football team one day and helped them win their most important match. His teammates all told him later that they were sure glad that they pricked him.

The dad cactus wanted to dress up like a porcupine. He said, “That’ll just prickle my fancy.”

You’re prickly like a cactus, but I love you anyway.

If one cacti is a cactus, is a single broccoli a brocculus?
– Just some food for thought.

I’m in a prickle.

A cactus once got in a music machine and couldn’t get out of it. The machine kept playing one song on repeat. The cactus later said that he was stuck on the song.

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