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Brain jokes 🧠🤯 in 2024

A man dies of old age on his 25 birthday. How is this possible?
– He was born on February 29th

When will water stop running downhill?
– When it reaches the bottom.

What did the zombie say when his son wouldn’t finish his dinner?
– A mind is a terrible thing to waste.

Take one out and scratch my head, I am now black but once was red. What am I?
– A match

What runs all around a backyard, yet never moves?
– A fence

It stalks the countryside with ears that can’t hear. What is it?
– Corn

A man, woman, and child go for a walk when it starts to rain. They aren’t carrying umbrellas and don’t have hats, but only two return with wet hair. Why?
– The man is bald!

What has cities, but no houses; forests, but no trees; and water, but no fish?
– A map

Why is the letter F like death?
– Because without it life is a lie, or it makes life a lie.

Which word logically comes next in this sequence? Spots, tops, pots, opts…
– Stop. All the words are anagrams of each other.

What is cut on a table, but is never eaten?
– A deck of cards.

When does it rain brains?
– During a brain storm.

First I am dried, then I am wet. The longer I swim, the more taste you get. What am I?
– Tea

A sundial has the fewest moving parts of any timepiece. Which has the most?
– An hourglass, with thousands of grains of sand

I have branches, but no fruit, trunk or leaves. What am I?
– A bank

What tastes better than it smells?
– A tongue.

A doctor and a bus driver are both in love with the same woman, an attractive girl named Sarah. The bus driver had to go on a long bus trip that would last a week. Before he left, he gave Sarah seven apples. Why?
– An apple a day keeps the doctor away!

I weaken all men for hours each day. I show you strange visions while you are away. I take you by night, by day take you back. None suffer to have me, but do from my lack. What am I?
– Sleep

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