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Bone jokes 🦴💀 in 2025

Why can’t chemists dogs’ ever find their bones?
– Because they barium

Why aren’t there any female butchers?
– Because anytime they touch meat it turns to bone.

why didn’t the midget get the top shelf T Bone?
– Because the steaks were to high…

What was the skeletons favorite rock band?
– The Grateful Dead.

The last time I played tackle football without pads l broke three ribs and a collar bone.
– Fortunately, none of them were mine.

What’s the similarity between women and KFC
– Once you’ve finished with the breast and thighs, all you’re left with a greasy box to pop your bone in.

What do you call a monk who walks everywhere in bare feet, has poor bone density and really bad breath?
– A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

What do boney people use to get into their homes?
– Skeleton keys!

An group of archaeologists gathered to find the leg bone of an ancient man
– It was a real shindig

I find it wild that people would use cleaning products on their skeletons.
– But to bleach their bone, I guess.

How much does 2,000lbs of bone weigh
– a skeleton

Give a dog a bone and you feed him for a day
– Teach a dog to bone and you go to jail for animal cruelty

What was the skeleton’s favorite musical instrument?
– The trom-bone.

What do you call a wizard who walks everywhere on bare feet, has poor bone density and really bad breath?
– A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Why is it alright to debone a chicken
– but boning a chicken gets you arrested.

You know what my favorite bone is?
– The ulna. I’m sorry if you thought this joke would be humerus.

I started dating my friend’s sister and he says we’re now Napoleon friends
– Because we’re only a bone apart.

Why are skeletons so calm?
– Because nothing gets under their skin.

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