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Bone jokes 🦴💀 in 2024

What do boney people use to get into their homes?
– Skeleton keys!

An group of archaeologists gathered to find the leg bone of an ancient man
– It was a real shindig

I find it wild that people would use cleaning products on their skeletons.
– But to bleach their bone, I guess.

How much does 2,000lbs of bone weigh
– a skeleton

Give a dog a bone and you feed him for a day
– Teach a dog to bone and you go to jail for animal cruelty

What was the skeleton’s favorite musical instrument?
– The trom-bone.

What do you call a wizard who walks everywhere on bare feet, has poor bone density and really bad breath?
– A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Why is it alright to debone a chicken
– but boning a chicken gets you arrested.

You know what my favorite bone is?
– The ulna. I’m sorry if you thought this joke would be humerus.

I started dating my friend’s sister and he says we’re now Napoleon friends
– Because we’re only a bone apart.

Why are skeletons so calm?
– Because nothing gets under their skin.

I recently broke my funny bone.
– I fail to see what’s so humerus about it.

Give a dog a bone and he’ll eat for a day
– Teach a dog to bone and you’ll never be lonely

What do a good woman and KFC have in common?
– After nibbling the breast and thighs there’s a greasy box to put your bone in

What did the French skeleton say before he ate?
– Bone apetit

Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
– No body.

Got offered a job today worth $80,000 with benefits working for the Brittle Bone Society.
– Nearly snapped his hand off.

Did you know that a piranha can devour a human child to the bone in 30 seconds?
– Anyways, I lost my job at the aquarium today.

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