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Boat jokes ⛵ in 2025

I told my gf that i had a crush on beyonce!
– And she said to me “Whatever floats your boat”
– And i said “No that’s **Buoyancy**”

What is so fascinating about the iceberg named Bluetooth?
– Any ship that will go near it will sync!

I’m sorry, but this boat is knot for sail.

When the bottom of a cargo ship got a hole, it had one hull of a problem.

My great grandfather sunk 5 U-boats in ww2
– Easily the worst captain the kriegsmarine had

What was the name of the boat filled with football players?
– Sportsman-ship.

What happened to the Spanish guy who was on a cruise ship?
– He got lost at ‘Si.’

Forever in need of some vitamin sea.

3 guys are on a boat with 4 cigarettes, but no lighter
– So one of the guys throws a cigarette overboard and the boat becomes a cigarette lighter.

I spent my children’s college fund on a boat…
– I’m going to call it the scholarship.

What is the name of the boat made of stones?
– A hard-ship.

What activity do zombies like to do on a cruise ship?
– They like to shuffle-board!

One ship carrying blue paint collided with another ship carrying red paint.
– The crew is missing and believed to be marooned.

Why did the ‘Friends’ boat team make Courtney Cox?
– Because Lisa Kudrow.

My wife asked me why I’m always on the boat and I don’t spend time with her?
– I told her she may be old but she is always wet and ready to go. And if anything goes wrong I can get rid of her for a new one.
– Lastly, if we get crabs together it’s a good thing.

Where do the sick boats go for checkups?
– To the doc.

Which movie do sailors like to watch the most?
– The Codfather.

What’s up dock?

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