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Boat jokes ⛵ in 2025

Why are boats not weirded out by another boat and their activities?
– Because they respect whatever floats each other’s boats.

Why did the sailor fall asleep?
– Because he went for snore-kling!

A very nervous first-time crew member says to the skipper, “Do boats like this sink very often?”
– “Not too often,” replied the skipper. “Usually it’s only the once.”

A werewolf stenographer starts a YouTube channel from his post on a U-boat:
– Lychan Sub Scribe

What was the name of the dentist’s office, which got opened on a boat?
– The tooth ferry.

What do the sailors use to clean their noses when they have a cold?
– Anchor-chiefs!

It’s time to sail-abrate good times, come on!

Why are portholes/windows in boats round?
– So the water doesn’t hit the sailors square in the face!

You can’t drive to the capital of Alaska, you can only get there by train or boat.
– Did Juneau that?

What was the name of the optometrist who came on the boat?
– A see captain.

Who got a free movie ticket pass on the cruise ship?
– Tom Cruise.

I started a successful boat building business in the attic of my house.
– Sails are going through the roof!

Did you hear about the boat full of gang members?
– It was a blood vessel.

A guy was paddling a small boat on a lake when it got very cold so he started a fire. He should have known better because …
– You can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

What is the name of the fastest sailboat in the world?
– Usain Boat.

Why did the laughter-ship sink very often?
– Because the anchor took a break!

Have you heard about the Bluetooth iceberg?
– Any ship that goes near it will sync.

Why do people refer to boats as “she”
– Because they’re full of seamen.

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