Bike jokes 🚲 in 2025

2 nuns go for a bicycle ride around the Vatican.
– The first nun says “I’ve never come this way before.” The second nun says “yeah, must be the cobblestones.”

A boy is loudly praying, “God please give me a bicycle.”
His mom asks, “why are you praying so loudly? God isn’t hard of hearing.”
The boy replies, “yes but grandma is.”

My dog used to chase everyone on a bike. Then I took his bike away.

What’s the difference between a biker and a savings bond?
– A savings bond eventually matures and earns money!

I went on a bike ride with my mate. He was late because he had to beat the traffic.

You see a fit, tanned, Lycra-clad young thing ride by, and the first thing you check out is his or her bicycle.

Your kids bring a rear derailleur to “Show & Tell”.

A man is sitting in a new sports car when a little girl pulls up beside him on her new bicycle she just received for Christmas.
She knocks on his window, which he rolls down to see what she wants.

“Wanna race, mister?” she asks, ringing her bell and twirling the elastic streamers on her handlebars.

“Sure,” the man laughs. The light turns green and he floors the pedal. The car takes off like a shot and he leaves the little girl in the dust.

A few seconds later though, he sees something gaining on him in his mirror, *fast.* He just barely catches a glimpse of the little girl on her bike as she shoots past him. “She must be going 80 miles per hour!” he shouts, and shifts into a higher gear, pushing the car even faster.

He quickly blasts past her as if she were standing still. But again, just a few seconds later, she shoots past him, now doing over a hundred miles an hour on her little bike. Going so fast, sparks and smoke are streaming from her training wheels.

After another few seconds, he comes to a curve where he sees the little girl crashed in a heap on the side of the road. He pulls over and jumps out to see if she’s okay. Miraculously she’s survived. So he asks, “Why did you go so fast?”

Just as she falls unconscious, the little girl replies, “my streamers got caught on your mirror!”

Why was the bike looking at his watch?
– He had a tee time.

Do you know why people think it’s hard for bikers to tell jokes?
– It’s because they don’t have any handlebars!

Two cyclists decided to race each other.
But towards the end of the track, one started to slow down. The other asked “Why are you slowing down?” He replied, “I saw a fork in the road.”

Rabbit is riding his new bicycle, when he meets bear
Rabbit is riding his new bicycle, when he meets bear. Bear clearly drunk:

“Hey rabbit, where did you get new bicycle?”

“I don’t drink, I save money, I can afford a bicycle.”

After some time rabbit has new motorbike and as he is taking it for a drive, he meets beer again, who is as usual totally drunk:

“Hey rabbit, where did you get new motorbike?”

“I don’t drink, I save money, I can afford a motorbike.”

After some time rabbit sees ferrari closing in. The ferrari stops next to rabbit and wouldn’t you believe it? The bear is driving. So surprised rabbit asks:

“Hey bear, how did you afford new ferrari? Did you stop drinking?”

“Nah, I returned beer bottles.”

A guy sees his mother in law riding a bicycle. “Where are you going?” he asks.
“To the cemetery” she replies.

“And who is going to return the bike?”

Little Johnny asks his father for a $200 bicycle for his birthday.
Johnny’s father says, “We have an $80,000 mortgage on the house, and I just got laid off! There won’t be a $200 bike this year.”

Two days later, Little Johnny walks out of the house with all his belongings in a suitcase. His father asks him why he’s leaving.

Johnny says, “Early this morning, I was walking past your room, and I heard you tell Mommy that you were pulling out, and Mommy said that you should wait because she was coming too, and I’ll be damned if I’ll get stuck with an $80,000 mortgage!”

What’s the difference between a bike and a tricycle?
– A bike goes faster and costs more if it falls over.

A biker’s best friend is often their helmet.

You have stopped even trying to explain to your other half why you need more than one bike…you just go buy another one and figure it will all work out in the divorce settlement.

You clean your bike(s) more often then your house.