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Bike jokes 🚲 in 2025

You regard inter-gender discussion of your genital pain/size/shape/utility as normal.

Three nuns are riding bicycles down a old street…
One says ‘I’ve never come this way before.’ To which the youngest nun says, ‘I know, I think it’s the cobblestones.’

Not Mine But i had to share

What grade did Peter get on his cycling test?
– He got an F for effort!

What’s the difference between a bad golfer and a bad bicyclist?
– A bad golfer goes straight for the hole – A bad bicyclist swerves in front of cars.

Why did the cyclist not take care of his brakes?
– He didn’t want to stop in time.

How do you get a million dollars as a bicycle shop owner?
– Start with two million.

The bicycle [long]
Two priests were talking, when one of them tells the other that his brand new bicycle has been stolen. He says that it must have been a member of his congregation, as he last saw it at the church.

The other priest says, “This Sunday, during Service, have your congregation recite the Ten Commandments. Hopefully the thief will feel guilty and come foreward.”

So the two priests depart. A week later, the two priests meet again, and the first priest happily reports that he got his bicycle.

“So, the Ten Commandments worked?” The second priest asks.

“Yes”, answers the first priest, “We got to ‘Thou shalt not commit adultery’, and I remembered where I had left it.”

Why do bicycles never go to parties?
– They’re always two-tired.

What’s pink and fluffy?
– A baby biker.

How do cyclists stay cool in hot weather?
– They take off their pants and ride naked!

You have more bike jerseys than low-cut tops.

Your surgeon tells you you need a heart valve replacement and you ask if you have a choice between Presta and Schrader.

I crossed a bike with a flower and got some cycle petals.

How does a bike keep its balance?
– It leans left and right.

What do cyclists have in common with birds?
– They can both fly.

What’s the difference between a well dressed man on a bicycle and a poorly dressed man on a unicycle?
– Attire

An engineering student rides up to his fellow engineering student on a bicycle
His buddy asks him “Where did you get the bicycle?”

“Crazy story! A beautiful blonde rode up to me in this bike, got off, stripped off all her clothes, and told me “take what you want!””

“Good choice, the clothes probably wouldn’t have fit anyways…”

I recently bought a bicycle that plays American music when you ride it
– It’s called a Gerschwinn

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